Ian's Odds and Ends
by Ian Hycrest
Summary: All the cool people these days seem to have a file of one-shots and stuff like that, so I thought I'd join in. If you see anything you like, feel free to take it.
1. Intro

**Ian's Odds and Ends**

Like so many other people, I decided to put my odds and ends out here for people to read. One-shots, random ideas, crossovers, criticisms, etc etc etc. While these will come from a mix of different fandoms, the main ones will probably be Harry Potter, Naruto, Worm, Buffy, and Stargate. Maybe if I get enough of them, I'll break them up into different stories for each, rather than lumping them all together.

If you happen to see something you like, feel free to use it. Half the reason I'm putting these out here is to give other writers ideas.

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just playing around with the stuff other people have come up with._


	2. EWW & HISHE - 'The Cave' - HP

**Everything Wrong With 'The Cave', and How It Should Have Ended**

_This is the result of a discussion I had with a friend about why I'm so convinced that Dumbledore is evil._

I think that one of the best pieces of evidence that Dumbledore was lying to everyone about his goals is in Book 6, Chapter 26 – "The Cave". I think we all know the basic gist. Harry and Dumbledore go after the locket, it's hidden in a seaside cave with a bunch of inferi, Dumbledore drinks the potion, etc. But a close examination reveals a sinister side that I highly doubt JKR intended. Note that all quotes are taken directly from the book.

I'm going to use the format of two popular Youtube movie review channels to analyze the chapter. If you've never seen CinemaSins or How It Should Have Ended, check them out.

**Everything Wrong With **_**Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 26: The Cave**_

In order to set the stage, we'll actually start in the chapter before, when Harry and Dumbledore are getting ready to leave Hogwarts. Dumbledore once again ignores Harry's warnings that Malfoy is up to something (which Dumbledore already knows, and is allowing). In fact, Harry's right on the money. "Professor Trelawney… heard Malfoy whooping, celebrating! He's trying to mend something dangerous in there and if you ask me, he's fixed it at last and you're about to just walk out of school…" Note that there is no reason that Harry and Dumbledore _have_ to leave right then. Taking 30 minutes to investigate Harry's claims wouldn't upset some critical schedule.

But Dumbledore, of course, is convinced that he knows best, and so they leave Hogwarts, just as the sun is setting. Why so late in the evening? Dumbledore is the headmaster. He can come and go as he pleases. And it wouldn't be difficult to arrange for Harry to skip classes so that they can go during the day. Going into a potentially hazardous situation when tired is just plain idiotic.

Dumbledore makes a point of dropping by Hogsmeade, supposedly to disguise his true destination. Why does he need to do that? Dumbledore spends most of his evenings in his office, where nobody can see him. He can make a portkey that will take Harry and him to the cave without anybody knowing they ever left the school. It would save a great deal of time and guarantee that nobody suspects he left. Also note that Dumbledore goes all the way into Hogsmeade, rather than just getting far enough away from Hogwarts to ensure that nobody can see him leave. If Dumbledore really wanted to go unnoticed, they should have left before they entered the village, rather than just going down a side street. Further, his 'excuse' to Madam Rosmerta is suspicious. "I'm off to the Hog's Head… No offense, but I feel like a quieter atmosphere tonight…" If he wanted a quiet atmosphere, he would have stayed in the castle.

Now we get to the chapter that I said we would focus on. Dumbledore has clearly scouted the area. He side-along apparates Harry to a rock sticking up out of the sea, a little way from a large cliff. They then swim to the cave where they need to go. Why did they swim? Dumbledore clearly has been here. He knew in advance that they will need to go from the rock to the cave.

Harry is likely not a strong swimmer. He was condemned to "ten dark and difficult years" that probably didn't include swimming lessons. Making things even worse, Harry is wearing his regular clothes, which are usually quite difficult to swim in, especially in rough water (the book specifically says the water was "foaming and churning"). Why didn't they bring brooms and fly? (We'll bring this up again, once they get into the inner cavern)

Even if, for some reason, a broom was not a viable option, there were still other possibilities. Dumbledore could conjure a boat for them to use. Or make a bridge. He's supposed to be an incredibly powerful wizard. There were plenty of other ways they could have gotten into the cave. But instead, Dumbledore chose the method that would leave Harry tired and cold.

When they get into the cave, Dumbledore comments that "this is the place." Harry, of course, asks how he can tell. Now remember that (though readers didn't know this at the time) Dumbledore is fully aware that he is dying. Thus, while Harry may not realize the importance of learning the skills to hunt for the horcruxes on his own, Dumbledore knows that this is probably the best chance to give Harry some real, hands-on learning opportunities that will be invaluable during the hunt for the remaining horcruxes. So, knowing all that, the logical thing to do would be to explain to Harry exactly how he knows that this is, in fact, the place.

Instead, Dumbledore goes the 'wise and mysterious old man' route. "It has known magic," he says. How is that going to help Harry when Dumbledore is gone? That statement is deliberately intended to increase the awe Harry feels for Dumbledore, not to teach Harry the skills he needs.

Dumbledore spends an unspecified amount of time investigating the cave. "Twice Dumbledore walked right around the cave, touching as much of the rough rock as he could, occasionally pausing…" That sounds to me like 20 to 30 minutes. Now here is the suspicious part. Prior to this, Dumbledore demonstrated that he knew exactly where to go. Does it seem remotely plausible that Dumbledore, who has supposedly been hunting for the horcrux for months now, would find his way to this cave, and then shrug, decide it's too much effort to investigate any more, and wait until he can drag Harry along before going any further? That seems incredibly unlikely to me. It makes more sense that Dumbledore had already figured out how to open secret archway. Which means that he was just wasting time trying to look more impressive, and to convince Harry that he hasn't explored this far.

So, eventually, Dumbledore reveals the silver archway which will lead into the inner cavern. But it requires payment. Dumbledore studies it for two minutes, and figures out that it requires blood. Dumbledore considers this to be "crude". He explains that Voldemort's goal was that the enemy "must weaken him- or herself to enter."

While this may sound reasonable to us, when one considers the advantages that magic provides to the wizarding world, that doesn't make sense. It's not like they're being required to cut off a limb or something. Just a bit of blood. Dumbledore cuts himself, and heals it just a second later. There is absolutely no evidence that he was inconvenienced at all by the loss of blood. And even if a large amount had been required, the magical world has blood-replenishing potions. The blood tribute would not have presented any real challenge to a reasonably skilled witch or wizard, so it is most likely that Voldemort had other reasons for choosing that particular method of entry.

I don't want to spend too long on this point, but I would argue that it's actually a fairly clever way of protecting the locket without accidentally making it so that Voldemort himself couldn't access it if needed. All it takes is a bit of blood, which obviously isn't difficult to get, but the chances of it accidentally being activated are very small. Voldemort's exact motives aren't particularly relevant, but it is noteworthy that Dumbledore leads Harry to believe that Voldemort tends to use foolish and or ineffective methods, rather than considering other possible reasons. Underestimating your enemy is not a particularly wise mindset when you're getting ready to fight a war.

So they finally make it into the inner cavern. Dumbledore knows immediately that they need to "be very careful not to step into the water." How does he know that? Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's just being cautious. But then it raises the question of why he's not taking any other precautions.

In the Harry Potter books, it is demonstrated multiple times that there are ways to detect magic from a distance. The most obvious one is the Trace, which will still register Harry's magic because he's underage. But there are other, less famous methods. For example, after taking down the ministry, Voldemort is able to monitor all of Britain and detect when anybody says his name. Another example is the Knight Bus, which can be summoned by simply waving your wand. Somehow, they can monitor the entire island (at least, near the roads) and tell with pinpoint precision where a wand has been waved. That's a level of surveillance that would make Big Brother in _1984_ weep in envy! It is, therefore, not unreasonable to assume that Voldemort might have set up some form of detection ward, such that casting spells in the cavern might trigger an alarm. But Dumbledore has no problem with Harry casting a summoning charm. He knows that there is no threat of Voldemort being alerted by the spell. How does he know that? The fact that he warns against the present threat, but is not concerned about a potential threat, suggests that he had already explored the inner cavern. He knows in advance what they will face.

Now Dumbledore and Harry must get to the island. It is suspicious that Dumbledore doesn't explore other options before deciding that they need to take the boat Voldemort so helpfully left for them. Harry once more asks for some information that would prove valuable when trying to find horcruxes on his own. He asks how Dumbledore knew it was there. And once more, Dumbledore gives him a useless response. "Magic always leaves traces… I taught Tom Riddle. I know his style." Well, Harry _didn't_ teach Tom Riddle, so why not take a few minutes to explain how Harry can identify such an important detail?

Dumbledore assumes almost immediately that the boat is safe. Again, this is very odd behavior in a cave filled with inferi guarding one of Voldemort's most prized possessions. It could very well be a trap. Dumbledore's explanation is that "Voldemort needed to create a means to cross the lake without attracting the wrath of those creatures…" But this is a logical fallacy. Just because there must be _a _method of crossing safely does not mean that _this particular _method will work. There is no indication that there is any sort of enchantment prohibiting them from using brooms, or conjuring a bridge across the lake. They could also climb along the cave ceiling using sticking charms, then drop down onto the island. Even if there are enchantments to prevent those methods, Voldemort has other options. During the ridiculously complex mess with the "Seven Harrys" at the beginning of Book 7, Voldemort demonstrates the ability to fly without a broom. Why would he not use that method to get to the island? Also note that it is entirely possible that Voldemort can simply control the inferi.

Dumbledore shows a remarkably cavalier attitude toward the risks, assuming that he knows instantly how Riddle's mind works. To Harry (and to readers) this comes across as evidence of how amazing Dumbledore is. But remember that he is currently dying from a trap he stupidly activated while hunting for another horcrux. Dumbledore should not be this confident. He should be questioning and double-checking everything. And yet, he doesn't. The most likely explanation, in my mind, is that he already investigated thoroughly the first time he came through.

Dumbledore states that the boat will be limited by magical power, and that Harry is not powerful enough to really matter. Direct quote here. "I think it unlikely that your powers will register compared to mine."

Now, ignoring the absurdity of this statement in the context (this elevator will only carry a certain amount, so a skinny man will have no impact when he rides with an obese man) this is still a very questionable and somewhat offensive thing to say. Harry has demonstrated that he is capable of remarkable magic. Most notably, he cast a patronus of incredible strength when he was 13. Thus, Dumbledore's statement is quite rude, completely dismissing Harry's achievements and abilities. Harry (rightfully) takes it as a bit of an insult, and Dumbledore backtracks. Personally, I think Dumbledore meant exactly what he said – he wanted Harry to think that he was nothing compared to Dumbledore.

On the way to the island, Dumbledore finally reveals what the threat in the water was: inferi. He also explains (in his typically long-winded way) that fire spells will be effective against them. But he doesn't take the time to make sure that Harry knows any good fire spells. The most common is incendio. Is that effective? Does Harry know it well enough to cast confidently under pressure? Those would be important things to find out before going to the island where they will be surrounded by inferi. Spending just a few minutes to discuss spell options would have gone a long way to ensuring their safety. And when they do get attacked, Dumbledore uses some sort of flame whip instead. Why didn't he discuss this with Harry beforehand?

Once they make it to the island, it is, again, quite suspicious how quickly Dumbledore decides to drink the potion. He claims not to recognize it, and yet, the first thing he does is reach into the basin to see if he can touch the potion. That's a frankly idiotic thing to try, especially right off the bat. An experienced alchemist like Dumbledore should know better. And after he decides that the potion must be consumed, he doesn't explore options such as transfiguring an animal to drink it, conjuring a large number of goblets to hold the potion in order to empty the basin without drinking, summoning one of the inferi to drink it for them, pouring the potion into his mouth then spitting it out, or any of a number of other options that might have worked.

Harry (sensibly) raises the concern that the potion might kill Dumbledore. Once more, Dumbledore ignores this potential threat, stating that "Lord Voldemort would not want to kill the person who reached this island." He clarifies that Voldemort would instead want to interrogate them.

This is completely nonsensical. The inferi are a lethal trap. There is no monitoring device, no warning that Voldemort would receive to let him know that someone has infiltrated his sanctuary. If someone without assistance drank the potion, they would die without him ever knowing, just as surely as if it had been poison. As we later learn, that's exactly what happened to Regulus.

And this is just the information that the readers and Harry know. Dumbledore has even more information. Again, remember that he is dying from a curse he got from one of the other horcruxes. He knows full well that Voldemort is using lethal protections. The only reason for him to be so confident is if he had already studied the potion.

And finally, Harry begins to suspect that something is a little off here. "Harry did not speak. Was this why he had been invited along – so that he could force-feed Dumbledore a potion that might cause him unendurable pain?" In the back of his mind, Harry begins to realize that Dumbledore knew more about the situation then he let on, or how else would Dumbledore know that he needed to bring Harry along?

Demanding that a teenage boy essentially torture someone he saw as a mentor is despicable, whether said mentor goes along with it or not. It forces Harry into the mindset of "I need to be willing to sacrifice myself to destroy the horcruxes, just like Dumbledore did." Thus, we finally see the reasoning behind Dumbledore's deception during this outing. It is not about teaching Harry the skills he will need to find and destroy the horcruxes. It is about brainwashing him to accept the need to sacrifice himself as Dumbledore planned years ago.

Dumbledore drinks the potion, and appears to be completely incapacitated. Or maybe not. Despite how weak he appears, he is able to respond when Harry is attacked by the inferi. Further, once they get back to Hogwarts (in the next chapter) and see the Dark Mark, Dumbledore has no problem from there. It seems likely to me that Dumbledore was, in fact, exaggerating the effect of the potion. That could be debated, however.

I'm not going to go into detail for the rest of the story. We know how it ends. Snape kills Dumbledore, blah blah blah. But there are a few more suspicious aspects of this outcome that I'd like to point out.

First, even though he knew that he was dying, Dumbledore made no attempt to get his affairs in order. He, instead, left people totally unprepared. McGonagall is even considering closing Hogwarts. The ministry is caught off-guard. It is possible that Mad-Eye Moody (with his motto of CONSTANT VIGILANCE!) was ready to take over the Order of the Phoenix, but there's no indication one way or the other. We can be confident that Moody didn't know about Dumbledore's plan. Rather than take the year to transition others into fulfilling his duties, Dumbledore pretends that everything is fine, leaving everyone panicking when he's gone.

Second, Dumbledore is buried on the Hogwarts grounds. No other headmaster has ever been buried here, but everyone agrees that Dumbledore should be. Why? Because they think Dumbledore gave his life to protect the school. After Book 7, however, we know differently. Dumbledore made a stupid mistake, and when he realized that his life would be ending very soon, arranged to die heroically rather than admit his blunder. If Snape hadn't killed Dumbledore, and the headmaster had instead died of the curse, would people have been so insistent that he be buried at Hogwarts? While Dumbledore justified the deception as being necessary to ensure Snape's cover, I think it was also done to ensure Dumbledore's legacy. Much better for people to think of him as the valiant headmaster who gave his life to protect the students, rather than that idiot that got himself killed because he thought he was a cursebreaker.

In short, Dumbledore spent his last days carefully manipulating the key figures in his Machiavellian scheme to ensure that things happened just the way he wanted. He traumatized a teenage boy in order to brainwash him into following Dumbledore's plan. He risked the welfare of the students in Hogwarts so that he would have a death befitting a noble champion of good. When carefully analyzed, his actions show that his only real concern was himself – proving that he was certainly not the hero he pretended to be.

* * *

And now, let's see how it would have played out if Dumbledore was using this as an opportunity to teach Harry, and doing his best to ensure everyone would be ready for when he died. I've tried to maintain Dumbledore's rather extravagant style of speech, even though I think it would be frustrating trying to learn from someone who talked like that.

**How It Should Have Ended**

Harry looked at the rough cliffs rising up out of the sea ahead of him, stretching so high that he couldn't see the sun from the vantage point on the rock where he stood, even though it was well past dawn already. Dumbledore had insisted that they get an early start, and so, had arranged for Harry to miss classes today. As far as any of the other students were concerned, Harry was in the hospital wing, and Madam Pomfrey had been instructed to turn aside any well-wishers. No doubt there would be rumors about what exactly had happened, but Harry was used to such unpleasant whispers after so many years at Hogwarts. As long as they were successful in their quest today, he would consider a bit of gossip to be a small price to pay.

Dumbledore drew close to Harry, speaking loudly enough to be heard clearly, even over the roar of the sea below them. "Do you see that cleft in the cliffs?" the aged headmaster asked as he pointed toward the dark grey bluffs.

"I see it," the boy confirmed.

"Good. That is where we need to go. Now, the tide is a little bit higher than I would have liked, so we'll need to be careful, but I think that we can fly in there without a problem. Take your time, and be careful. Remember what I said before we left. The keyword that we will follow today is _caution_. If you need to go into the water a little bit, that's just fine. We can dry our clothes with a simple spell. Fixing a concussion is a much more difficult task," Dumbledore instructed.

"I remember," Harry replied. And he certainly did. They had been preparing for this trip for almost two weeks, ever since Dumbledore first discovered the cave.

"Then follow me," the old man cried as he climbed on his broom and began to fly toward the dark crevice.

Harry followed the headmaster carefully through the cave, at times having to fly so low that his feet trailed in the water in order to avoid the low ceiling. Finally, the tight passage widened, and he found himself in a surprisingly large cavern, easily two or three times the size of a typical Hogwarts classroom, lit with about a dozen lanterns spread throughout the cave. Harry was, at first, surprised by the lanterns, but realized that it would be foolish to rely on lumos charms for light, given that they would likely need their wands for other spells.

"Good morning, Professor Dumbledore, Harry," called a familiar voice. Harry turned to see his friend Ron's oldest brother, Bill, standing on the rocky shore at the far end.

"Good morning, Bill," the professor replied with a smile. "Thank you for coming."

"Hey, Bill," Harry said with a quick nod, quite relieved to see the red-haired man. When Dumbledore had first begun talking about finding Voldemort's horcruxes, Harry had almost panicked. He knew that he didn't have the skills necessary to overcome the traps Voldemort would have inevitably placed. And that was even supposing that he managed to find the hiding spots at all. He was relieved, therefore, when Dumbledore had clarified that, while he suspected that Harry would be able to offer valuable insight into potential hiding places due to his similar upbringing, the task would not fall solely on his shoulders. Instead, the headmaster had contacted a few cursebreakers he trusted, such as Bill, to assist. The cursebreakers had all taken an unbreakable vow not to communicate regarding their mission with anyone not already in the know. Only Harry could bring new people into the fold, so to speak, which was a bit more responsibility than the boy would have preferred, but not too outrageous.

"Now, Harry," the headmaster began, turning his attention back to the boy, "we've talked about cursed areas like this before, and you've seen my memories of my ill-fated adventure while retrieving the ring. I dare say that you are not a complete novice in these matters, but I must still urge you to follow all instructions carefully, and not to take any unnecessary risks. What did I tell you is the most important lesson for any cursebreaker?"

"You can always come back tomorrow," Harry replied dutifully.

"Precisely," Dumbledore said with a smile. "We will take our time and exercise caution. If we don't make it through the obstacles we face today, we can come back another time. If we die, we have failed, and all hope dies with us."

The old man turned his attention back to the wall and took a deep breath. "Now, Mister Weasley and I have been studying this cave for a few days. But, part of our goal here is for you to get some real-world experience with the things we have discussed these past few months. So, anytime that you have a question, please ask. That's why you are here."

"I do have a question right now," Harry said a little hesitantly. The headmaster gestured, and the boy continued, "You've talked a little bit about the enchantments you've found here. But how did you know to look here at all? How did you know that this was the place?"

"Ah, an excellent question," the wizened professor replied. "If I were to be somewhat poetic, I would say that this cave has known magic. That, however, despite being a true statement, doesn't really answer your question, does it?"

The old man thought for a moment. "There is magic all around us. You likely haven't covered warding in your Ancient Runes class yet, but the idea of warding is to store certain forms of magical energy in a location, usually to prevent anyone from entering. This magical energy, being shaped to fulfill a purpose, is noticeably different than the basic, ambient magic that fills the ether. It is this different magic that I was able to sense, alerting me to something being hidden here."

"You mean, like, there's more magic here?" Harry asked, still a little confused.

"I would not qualify it as the _quantity_ of magic so much as the _nature_ of the magic. I have often said that music is a magic beyond all we do. In this case, music is, in fact, an excellent comparison to explain what I mean. We can determine the volume of a certain melody, and that is one valid method of comparing two different sounds. But music goes far beyond mere volume. A musical piece may be loud and triumphant, or it may be loud and frightening, perhaps even jarring. Similarly, soft music can be soothing, or it could be haunting, or perhaps somber or even sinister. The volume of the music, in truth, plays a rather small part in the feelings that it invokes."

The man glanced at the boy, and smiled a little as he saw the look of confusion that remained on the boy's face. "I know that this seems strange now, but as you gain more experience with magic, you will be able to sense the nature of the magic around you. For now, however, I will share with you another method. A bit of a 'short-cut', if you will."

Dumbledore walked over to the water, and crouched down close, gesturing for Harry to join him. "Magic affects everything around it. The ancient elements, in particular, reflect the mystical forces that surround them, which is why ancient mages focused so much time and energy studying them. While the element of Earth is much more difficult to analyze due to its inherent immutability, hydromancers, pyromancers, and aeromancers of old found great success in learning about ambient magic through carefully studying their chosen element. In this case, look closely at the water."

Harry turned his gaze to the still water at his feet, not quite sure what he was supposed to be looking at.

"The water in this cave is connected to the sea outside. You remember how rough the water was out there, do you not? Waves taller than a man were crashing against the cliff face. And yet, this water is still – unnaturally so. There is some form of preservation enchantment which fights back against the normal chaotic energies of this world. Magic always leaves traces. Careful observation of the environment can reveal those traces if one looks closely enough."

Harry still found it a bit confusing, and wasn't entirely sure that he would ever reach the point that he could simply feel the magic, but he thought he understood the idea well enough. "So, look for something that stands out as being kind of weird for no reason," he concluded.

"I suppose that's a good enough summary," the professor replied cheerfully. "Remember, if you suspect that you have found an area with heavy enchantments, it's always best to call in a professional. Even if you turn out to be wrong, it's better to be safe than to be sorry, as they say," he finished with a wink.

The headmaster stood and stretched. "Ahh, the old bones don't move quite like they used to," he commented with a soft groan before leading Harry over to a non-descript section of wall.

"Now, through careful examination of the cavern here, we found this particular stretch of wall with a heavier enchantment than the rest. Using diagnostic spells specifically intended to reveal the nature of unknown enchantments, we have determined that it is, in fact, a gateway into an inner sanctuary, which is where Voldemort has most likely hidden the treasure we seek."

The professor cast a few spells, and Harry was startled to see a silver arch suddenly appear, the edges blazing with a strange, eldritch light that lingered only a few moments before fading.

"Now, a gateway such as this can be sealed to only open under certain conditions. Sometimes, that requires the presence of a specific physical object, much like a key that you would use in a regular door. Sometimes, it is, instead, a password that must be spoken. In this case, it is a substance which must be put upon this specific section of wall. To be precise, magical blood."

"Blood," Harry echoed, somewhat horrified.

"Yes," the professor confirmed, "something which I must admit I find just a bit surprising, in fact. While Voldemort is most certainly the type of person who had have no qualms in requiring pain or suffering to enter the chamber (in fact, he might even enjoy it) it's not a particularly secure method of sealing the cavern. Every magical person has blood, after all, and it takes only a momentary bit of discomfort to open the gateway. I must admit that I am not entirely certain of why Lord Voldemort has chosen this method to protect his Horcrux."

"It's possible that he's using the blood to record who enters or exits," Bill suggested. "Or it could be that he wants to ensure he's never locked out. That's a surprisingly common occurrence with sealed chambers such as this. The person chooses some obscure and very difficult method to lock the entrance, and, at a later point, is unable to enter. Imagine if he chose a magical concentrate made from some rare plant, only to discover later that the plant had gone extinct. If he expects to live forever, he may have taken such a possibility into consideration so that even in a greatly weakened state, he would still be able to open the door without any great difficulty."

Dumbledore frowned thoughtfully. "A very plausible explanation, one that I had not considered. However, for our purposes today, understanding Voldemort's exact reasoning is not necessary. We have investigated, and, so far as we can tell, there is no harm to be done in activating the gateway and entering the inner chamber. Well, no more harm than is obvious," he amended as he withdrew a silver potions knife from his sleeve.

"I'll do it," Harry offered, but Dumbledore shook his head.

"If Mister Weasley is correct, and the blood is being used to keep track of who enters, it would be best that my blood be the one recorded. As I have informed you both, I am not long for this world. If, in the future, Voldemort were to check if anyone has entered, it would be best that he saw that it was me. He might, then, assume that I had taken the secret to the grave. We shouldn't count on that, of course, but anything we can do to conceal the continued hunt for the horcruxes can only be to our advantage."

Dumbledore slid the blade across his palm, then flicked it toward the cave wall. The archway came into view again, but this time the light remained, and the rock dissolved into nothingness.

Each of the three men quickly grabbed a lantern, and proceeded through the archway into the darkness. Harry suppressed a shiver as he followed the headmaster and Bill into the inner cavern. In the distance, he could just make out a sickly green light in the center of an unnaturally still, dark lake. Even with all three lanterns, the light did not travel far before it was swallowed up. It seemed to Harry as though the darkness was somehow denser than normal darkness.

"A curious effect," Dumbledore said softly, peering around him.

"An anchored darkness charm," Bill commented. "I ran across something very similar in a cursed castle in Bavaria during my training."

"Can it be deactivated," the headmaster inquired.

"Yes, but we'll need to be careful. It's possible that Voldemort has prepared wards to set off alarms if spells are cast, or any of the defenses deactivated. We should check on that, first."

"A capital idea," Dumbledore agreed, and both men began to carefully make their way around the massive lake, casting spells on the cave floor and walls.

"I thought you were worried about casting spells," Harry asked in confusion. "So, why are you casting now?"

Dumbledore chuckled, though he didn't stop. "Yes, that does seem rather odd, doesn't it? What we are casting now are diagnostic spells, which are specifically designed not to interact with existing magic. It allows to look at the enchantments that have been placed without worrying about setting off alarms."

It took about two hours for Bill and Dumbledore to finish their work. Finally, however, the two men were reasonably confident that there was no alarm. Bill deactivated the darkness charm, and Harry could see clearly again. The three men gathered together near the archway, peering across the lake at the small island in the center.

"I would assume that is where we will need to go," the headmaster said cheerfully.

"We've got brooms. Should we fly there?" Harry suggested.

"A definite possibility," the headmaster replied. "But first, let me try something." He waved his wand, and a soft, blue light flickered into existence. He frowned, and cast a few more spells before finally explaining. "I just tried a number of obscure spells, and they all were similarly hampered. I doubt that Voldemort would have prepared a counter for all of them, so I suspect that the answer is actually that the entire cave is filled with a magical dampening ward."

Harry wasn't sure what that meant, but he could tell by Bill's expression that it was concerning. "Is that a really bad thing?" he asked.

"It is somewhat concerning," Dumbledore replied, though his voice remained calm. "It means that we will be at a definite disadvantage in casting any spells. You will need to focus intently, and put more energy into your spells than you normally would to have the desired effect. I would rather not trust the brooms in such a dampening field. Should they falter, we would find ourselves in the lake with no means of escape. And given the very foul magic that I can feel pouring forth from the water, I do not think that would end well for us."

"The water is enchanted?" Harry asked concernedly.

"A small enchantment, I believe, but of far greater concern are the beings in the lake." Dumbledore frowned. "Inferi, I believe. I suspect that we have found the remains of many of the people who went missing during Voldemort's first rise to power."

Harry stared in horror at the calm lake surface which belied the horror lying within. "How many?" he asked, swallowing deeply.

"That, I cannot know," Dumbledore said heavily. "There were a great many people who disappeared under mysterious circumstances. And I'm not familiar enough with the process of creating an inferius to know if the victim must be magical, or if a non-magical person could be turned as well. If innate magic is not a requirement for a body to be so ensorcelled, then we cannot even guess. As shameful as it is to admit, the ministry did not concern itself with the number of missing muggles during the war."

"We still need to find a way across," Bill said. "The best thing we can do now is eliminate Voldemort for good so that no more innocent people die."

"Indeed," Dumbledore said, "and I believe that I found the key a short way over here while we were checking for alarm spells." He led the others over to a spot that seemed, to Harry, to be no different than any other. Bill, however, could see something that Harry couldn't.

"Clever," he whispered as he waved his wand over the area a few times.

"Yes, Tom Riddle was truly a brilliant student," the headmaster agreed. "It was a great loss for the wizarding world when he chose to become Lord Voldemort, not just because of the harm done, but also because of the potential that was wasted."

Harry watched in amazement as Dumbledore reached his hand out and grasped the empty air as though seizing hold of something. To his shock, a thick, coppery green chain appeared, extending out into the black water of the unnaturally still lake. Dumbledore tapped the chain with his wand, and it began to slide through his fist like a snake, coiling on the ground beside him. Harry gasped as a small boat emerged from the depths of the lake with barely a ripple, and floated steadily toward them.

"How did you know that was there?" the boy asked in astonishment.

"As I said before, magic always leaves traces. The detection charms we were casting are like little flashes of light in the darkness. It's not always enough to see exactly what is around you without careful study, but they will let you see what has been hidden. In this case, it allowed me to see that some form of enchantment had been cast in this location, and further study showed precisely what it was."

Dumbledore and Bill spent about ten minutes casting spells at the boat before apparently deciding that it was safe. "From what I can tell, the boat seems to be limited to one occupant, or rather, to one primary magical signature. Would you concur?" the headmaster asked, turning to Bill, who nodded.

"In that case," the old man continued, "I believe it would be best if Harry and I were to use the boat to go to the island. I imagine that this purpose, my signature would overpower his, allowing him to go undetected."

"That might work, but just to be sure, let me cast a masking charm on him," Bill said.

Dumbledore turned and looked at the red-haired man with curiosity. "I've never heard of such a charm that would be used in a situation like this," he said. "Could you explain about it?"

"Before the Egyptians began building pyramids, their kings were buried in a large, roughly rectangular building called a mastaba. Mastabas were frequently enchanted with surprisingly advanced curses that activate only when a person with certain characteristics crosses the barrier, making it very difficult to ensure that an area has been thoroughly cleared. Just because one person passed safely does not mean that others will be able to. To get around this, cursebreakers in the late 1800's invented a masking charm to block a person's magical aura, which protects against most of those curses."

Bill paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "It's not surprising you haven't heard of it before. The Ancient Egyptians seem to have forgotten that form of activated curse around the time they began building pyramids, and no other culture ever developed them, so there's really no need for masking charms anywhere outside of a few isolated digs."

Dumbledore seemed delighted. "How wonderful to be learning something new even at my age. By all means, please, use your masking charm on Harry. With your permission, of course," the old man added as he glanced at Harry.

Harry nodded, and Bill waved his wand in a complicated pattern, saying a few words that certainly didn't sound like Latin, before stopping to peer closely at Harry, as though examining his work. "Done. You should be good to go. I'll keep an eye on you from the shore here."

With a not inconsiderable amount of trepidation, Harry climbed into the small boat with the headmaster. Without any input from Dumbledore, as far as Harry could see, at least, the boat began to move, speeding quickly yet silently through the water toward the small island in the center of the lake. The eerie, green glow grew brighter as they approached.

"Now, Harry, I have just realized that I was quite neglectful in our preparations," the headmaster said after they had reached the shore. "We are currently surrounded by inferi, and it occurs to me that you do not have any experience in dealing with these creatures."

"If we don't disturb the water, we won't be attacked, right?" Harry said quickly, trying to keep the fear out of his voice as he glanced back at the water.

"That is certainly my hope, but it behooves us to be prepared for any eventuality. If the worst does happen, remember that fire spells are the most effective means of driving them away. You know the _incendio_ spell, do you not?" The boy nodded, a little hesitantly, and the headmaster continued. "If it becomes necessary to confront the inferi, remember that you will need to use more power than you normally would because of the dampening ward. Do not worry about putting too much power into the spells. Madam Pomfrey can patch up burns with just a little ointment. Wounds inflicted by inferi would not be healed so easily."

Having said this, Dumbledore turned back to the source of the strange, green glow – a large pedestal that seemed to have been grown directly out of the rocky ground. At the top was a stone basin, much like a pensieve, filled with a liquid that glowed with an unholy light.

"What is it?" Harry asked softly.

"I'm not sure," Dumbledore replied, then began casting spells. After a few minutes, he chuckled a little bit. "Well, that's one way to it," he said softly.

"What's one way to do it?" Harry inquired.

"I believe that there is a powerful enchantment on this basin which prevents the potion from being removed, except for someone to drink it. The nature of the potion, itself, is still an unknown, but I doubt that it will be pleasant for anyone who were to drink it." The headmaster frowned, and, to Harry's shock and horror, slowly placed his burned hand into the basin. "As I thought," Dumbledore said, "I cannot even touch it."

The old man studied the basin for a few more moments. "I can only conclude that the potion must be drunk if we are to gain access to the horcrux within," he finally said.

"We have to drink an unknown potion? That doesn't sound like a good idea," Harry remarked.

"No, it certainly doesn't. If it comes down to it, it should be I that drinks the potion, not you. I'm already dying. The worst case scenario is that it embark on my next great adventure a few weeks early. But, there may be other options."

"I thought you just said we would have to drink it," Harry said, confused.

"That is undoubtedly what Voldemort intended, but often the best way to overcome an obstacle is not to remove said obstacle, but rather, to go around it. Let's try this idea," the headmaster said as a conjured a large, curly straw with many loops and turns. He grasped the straw, then conjured a set of long tongs, which he handed to the boy. A large, cast iron pot suddenly appeared on the ground.

"Now, I will use the straw to suck up the potion. With luck, the straw is long enough to contain the potion entirely without me needing to actually drink any of it. As soon as the horcrux is exposed, use those tongs to seize it, and I will let the potion flow back into the basin. If this doesn't work, we'll try something else. If you do manage to acquire the horcrux, place it in the pot. Do not touch it with your bare hands," Dumbledore said forcefully, staring at Harry over the top of his glasses. "I am dying because I did not take proper precautions. Do not make the same mistake."

Harry nodded, and grasped the tongs tightly. Dumbledore put the straw to his lips, and placed the end in the strange, glowing liquid. The potion began to flow up into the straw, the clear plastic now glowing bright green. To Harry's relief, the level of the potion in the basin dropped quickly. He held the tongs in position as a metallic edge broke the surface. Unfortunately, he still couldn't get close enough to grab it. He pressed the tongs as hard as he could, but whatever invisible barrier impeded him was as strong as steel.

The potion continued to recede as Dumbledore even more up into the straw. Finally, Harry was able to grab just a bit of the locket, and he pulled it out of the glowing liquid with a triumphant cry. As Harry dropped the horcrux into the pot with a loud clank, Dumbledore pulled the straw from his lips, and spat some of the potion back into the basin.

"Professor, did you drink it?" Harry asked, horrified.

"No, just had to get some of it into my mouth," came the response. "We were so close, it seemed the best way." Dumbledore took a few deep breaths before continuing. "Still, it seems that some of it managed to get down my throat. I don't believe that such a small amount will seriously harm me, but we best not dally. Let us return to Mister Weasley, and we can return to Hogwarts. Do you have the Horcrux?"

Harry nodded, and held up the pot, tipping it so that the headmaster could see the locket, then frowned as he inspected it more closely. "I don't think this is the real one," he said slowly. Dumbledore turned to peer at it closely. "It doesn't look like the one from the memory you showed me. It's close, but not quite."

The headmaster frowned. "I believe that you are correct, but there is nothing we can do about it now. Let's return to Hogwarts, examine our prize, and see what we do from here." Seeing the downcast expression on his student's face, he continued, "Harry! Chin up! It might not have ended exactly how we hoped, but this was still a success. That locket, while it may not be what we were looking for, is still a clue. And one way or another, we will solve the mystery."

Harry nodded, but still couldn't take his eyes off the fake horcrux. They sailed back to the shore, where Bill greeted them.

"Did you get it?" he asked excitedly.

Harry shook his head sadly, but it was Dumbledore who responded. "It seems that our hunt was not quite as successful as we had hoped, but we have at least found another clue that will lead us onward, so today was not in vain. Now, I was exposed to a small amount of an unknown potion on the island, so I think it best if Harry and I return to Hogwarts. Can you finish up here?" he requested, and Bill nodded. "Excellent," the headmaster continued. "Then Harry and I shall be off. As always, Bill, thank you for your impeccable work."

"Will you be well enough to get back without trouble?" the red head asked.

"Oh, we'll be fine. I made a portkey before we came, just in case. It will take us to an isolated part of the hospital wing," came the cheerful response.

Bill nodded, and Dumbledore walked over to the exit, which was once more a solid-looking wall. A small tribute of blood opened the passageway again, and headmaster and student walked back out into the cave with the tunnel leading out to the sea.

The tide had come and gone, leaving the water level even lower now than when they had arrived this morning. They mounted their brooms and flew threw the winding tunnel, dismounting on the rock where their adventure had started. Dumbledore pulled an ornate golden figurine out of a voluminous pocket, which he held toward Harry. Shifting the pot with the horcrux to his left arm, Harry grasped the figurine tightly with his right hand.

"To Hogwarts," Dumbledore calmly announced, and with the familiar navel-jerk sensation, Harry and Dumbledore sped off to the school.


	3. The Defiant Trout - ASOIAF

The Defiant Trout

"This is madness!" Edmure cried, doing his best not to subject the innocent woman in front of him to his anger. This was motivated in part by his inherent sense of propriety, in that honorable conduct towards women had been instilled in him from his youth, and purely out of a sense of self-preservation. Maege Mormont was not the type of woman who would be cowed by displays of rage.

And to be honest, rage was a reasonable description of what he was feeling. Ever since his dear sister Catelyn had made the absolutely idiotic decision to abduct _Tywin Lannister's _son, things had been going very poorly for the River Lords as a whole, and for House Tully, in particular. With no warning of what she intended, Catelyn had left them all in a very exposed position, being caught off guard when the old lion released the Mountain on the Riverlands to burn, pillage and rape his way through the countryside.

Edmure had gathered what forces he could, but they were woefully inadequate to stand up to the attack from the much larger (and better equipped, due to the wealth of the Westerlands) forces arrayed against them. It had ended with Edmure locked in a cage, forced to watch as the Kingslayer laid siege to Riverrun.

And while Edmure was grateful that his nephew, Robb, had been able to break that siege, it was still galling when he heard the laughter from the Northern Lords, and some of those from his own lands, as they retold the story of his disgrace.

He loved his sister, he really did. He reminded himself of this fact almost every day, when she criticized the manner in which he was commanding Riverrun given their father's incapacitation, or the efforts he was taking to gather some semblance of a fighting force to halt the Mountain's depredations, or the selection of dishes served at dinner, or whatever else she had found to complain about.

The challenges she was facing had made Catelyn a very bitter person, and, unfortunately, his sister was doing an excellent job of spreading that misery around. Perhaps the most irritating thing about the whole matter was that she somehow had convinced herself that she was blameless in this whole affair. Despite the fact that this war was a direct result of her… _stupidity_, she still felt that she was justified in her actions.

And really, would it have been too much to ask that she or her late husband notify him that they were expecting trouble with the Lannisters? Instead, the first news he had received that there was any potential conflict on the horizon was when the Mountain had begun slaughtering whole villages.

Feeling his rage rise once more at his current train of thought, he pushed it aside. _I love my sister_, he thought to himself. And maybe that was true. But, right now, he didn't like her very much.

With great effort, he turned his attention back to Lady Mormont.

"Robb is deep in the Westerlands with less than six thousand men. Tywin Lannister is marching west with nearly twenty thousand men. We will have an excellent opportunity to stop the old lion, taking advantage of the terrain along the Red Fork to stop Tywin in his tracks, likely doing immense damage to his forces. And yet, you tell me that I am to let the Western force pass through my lands unchallenged because Robb wants to fight Tywin himself?"

Though he had no doubt that his anger was readily apparent, Lady Mormont was not concerned in the least. "_His Grace_ has ordered you to do so. A plan has already been determined which will give our forces the advantage in the conflict. You need only concern yourself with the defense of Riverrun," she replied with a challenging look.

Despite himself, he felt his face flush slightly, at the not particularly subtle reminder of his position before the Northern forces had arrived.

"It is madness," he repeated. "_His Grace_ has won some battles, yes, but Tywin will not be caught off guard as the others were. We can rally a force of over ten thousand. Twice the number of men that have accompanied His Grace. And guarding the fords of the Red Fork offers as strategic a position as anywhere they could find in the West."

"Regardless, King Robb has made his will clear." The She-bear was unrelenting.

"Very well," Edmure finally said, drawing a deep breath to calm himself. "I will do as His Grace commands, folly though it may be."

"It is not your place to judge the decisions of your King," she rebuked sharply.

"Yet, it will be my people who pay the price if his plans fail," he retorted.

To this, she made no response, choosing instead a different matter to discuss. "My forces are bringing several thousand head of cattle taken from the West. They should arrive by nightfall tomorrow. After that, we will be returning to join the force in the West."

"I thank you for your assistance in bringing food for my people. I will give orders to my quartermasters that you are to receive any provisions that you many need," he said as graciously as he could, though his earlier anger remained.

She nodded in acknowledgment, then turned and exited the hall. He waited until she was gone before turning to his good friend Patrek Mallister. "Can you believe this?" he demanded.

Patrek shrugged. "Kings do what kings will."

"And apparently our king has decided to throw away his life, and the lives of his entire army. He cannot expect to obtain victory against such odds."

"Perhaps he truly does have a plan," Patrek replied. "He's done well thus far."

"Thus far he has used careful maneuvering to catch his enemies unprepared. Tywin Lannister will not be such easy prey. Especially not in his own lands."

"And what are you going to do?" Patrek challenged.

Edmure turned, looking over at the maps he had laid out on the table. All of the forces he had arranged, all of the plans he had made for the defense of the Red Fork. All for nothing. "I will do what the King commands," he finally conceded. "But I still think it foolish."

"On that matter, only time will tell," his friend replied.

* * *

Edmure seethed, his fists clenched in anger as he stood on the battlements, watching as the Lannister force, barely visible in the distance, crossed the fords and continued down the River Road.

"We could have stopped them," he said softly, his voice little more than a whisper.

Despite how quietly he had spoken, Cat, apparently, had heard him. "Leave it to Robb," she advised.

He shook his head in frustration, but made no reply. He didn't want to get pulled into yet another argument with her. Instead, he walked back to the door which lead down into the castle proper, ignoring the gaze of the giant of a woman that Catelyn had brought back from the failed negotiation with Renly Baratheon.

* * *

A raven arrived just a few days later, bearing news that Robb had conquered the Crag, though he had been wounded. And while some tried to proclaim this as a glorious triumph for the young king, Edmure could only shake his head in confusion. Conquering the Crag was not any great victory. It was an old, rundown castle in the possession of the Westerlings, whose wealth had long since run out. More importantly, it offered little strategic value. Even Edmure, not by any means a great tactician, could see that clearly.

With the news that Storm's End had fallen, and Stannis Baratheon now marched on King's Landing with the combined forces of the Stormlands and the Narrow Sea, the war was reaching its climax. And Edmure was still stuck in his castle, to his shame.

* * *

Edmure watched his sister, his heart filled with sympathy, but without any idea of what to say. What words could ease the pain that she felt at the death of her two youngest sons? And at the hands of the blackguard, Theon, who had been fostered in Winterfell. The turncoat had betrayed his oath to Robb and his loyalty to the house that had raised him honorably, and instead, used his knowledge of the great castle to allow the Ironborn forces to infiltrate Winterfell stealthily, cutting down the defenders from inside.

Patrek had been stunned when he heard the news. He and the Ironborn boy had gotten along well, even becoming friends to a certain extent during their time in Seaguard before Theon returned to his Seven-forsaken home. And instead of bringing an alliance, as he had promised, the Greyjoy cunt brought only death and betrayal.

* * *

"What were you thinking?" he roared, staring at his stupid, stupid sister. Had the frozen North destroyed all common sense in the woman?

"I have already lost two children to this war," Catelyn began.

"This war that you started!" Edmure shouted in return.

"The Lannisters attacked my boy! They threw him from the window, then tried to finish the job when he survived," she retorted, just as angrily.

"And now, you want to release the one who did it? You say he admitted to throwing Bran from the tower, and you want to let him go?" Try as he might, Edmure just could not understand the mind of a woman. He had realized this many times in the past, of course, but this was perhaps the most confusing argument he'd ever heard. Thank the Seven, and the Old Gods, and any other deity that might be paying attention that Marq had noticed that huge woman trying to lead the Kingslayer out of the castle. It would not be, in any way, an exaggeration to say that for them to lose their most important hostage would be a complete disaster.

"Tyrion Lannister pledged in open court that Sansa and Arya would be returned if Ser Jaime were released," she pleaded.

"And you trust him? He violated guest right, and the very laws of diplomacy when he sent men to try to free his brother under a banner of peace!" Edmure countered angrily. "And even if he did intend for your daughters to be freed, it's not his decision, now is it? Joffrey would be the one to make the final choice. Do you trust him? The mad prince who cut off your husband's head?"

Catelyn's hand moved so fast he could hardly see it, but he felt it. Ignoring the burning in his cheek where she had slapped him, he eyed her angrily. "You almost brought ruin upon us all. You will stay in your quarters until your son returns and decides what to do with you."

"Take her away," he ordered, and the guards followed his instructions promptly, ignoring Cat's angry shouts.

"And see to it that Brienne of Tarth goes nowhere near the dungeons. If she tries, clap her in irons and keep her there," he ordered.

* * *

There had been whispers for some time now. The lack of ravens from the west told a grim tale. Edmure had tried to put a stop to the rumors, but people talked. That was what they did, no matter what their lords said.

And in the end, it turned out that the whispers were true.

Edmure stood in the hall, studying his nephew carefully. Robb's arm was still clearly wounded, and he had a number of other minor injuries. He was not the only one who had suffered, of course. The Greatjon was missing an eye, and Lady Mormont's hand had been crushed, the appendage now malformed and useless. Even Edmure's Uncle Brynden was looking worse for the wear. And considering that Robb was now accompanied by less than five hundred soldiers, fortunate souls who had managed to escape across the mountains with their king, it was clear that what the people were already calling 'Robb's Folly' had been a disaster indeed.

"Your grace, we are all glad for your return, even under trying conditions," Edmure said.

"Trying conditions, indeed," the young king replied, glaring at Edmure. "We were under the impression that the might of Riverrun would be guarding our back. And yet, it proved no more effective now then it had when the Lannister's first attacked."

Angry murmurs filled the hall. All of the assembled Lords knew that Edmure had rallied the available forces to challenge Tywin, but had been ordered to take no action.

"With respect, your grace, we were prepared to fight. And when we received your orders that we stand aside and allow the Lannisters to pass unhindered, we obeyed, regardless of our personal feelings. Do not blame us for what has happened. We did as we were commanded, despite disagreeing with those commands," Edmure retorted, furious at the nerve of this… boy… to blame him and his fellow River Lords for Robb's own stupidity. Many of the other River Lords voiced their support.

Robb flushed, and hastily tried to change his tune. "Perhaps my messenger did not convey the orders as clearly as I would have liked," he tried.

This time, he was cut off by a different source. "Your Grace?" Lady Mormont exclaimed, clearly feeling betrayed.

Now, the Northern Lords were muttering angrily. Those Lords who had been traveling with the king knew the truth of the matter, and were not pleased that he was trying to blame as loyal a subject as Lady Mormont for his own mistakes.

The normally confident and charismatic young king was clearly not accustomed to being challenged like this. But it was not surprising that people had begun to lose faith in the Stark boy. He had foolishly sent his friend as an envoy to the Iron Islands, only for that friend to turn around and invade the North. He had broken his pledge to marry a Frey girl in exchange for their support. And now, he was trying to blame loyal vassals, rather than acknowledging his own errors.

"Regardless of what has happened, we must stand strong," Robb said.

"The Tyrells have joined the Lannisters, and Stannis' fleet has been crushed," a voice protested. "What hope do we have?"

"It may be difficult, but we will find a way," the King in the North replied with conviction.

"Just like you found a way to keep your home safe?" another voice called out.

"How long until the Lannisters return?" someone else cried.

"We should make peace now, before we're all killed!"

The room erupted in a storm of arguments, some calling for surrender and peace, while others demanded that they continue fighting.

"My Lords!" Robb yelled. "Difficult and dark though the path may be, we must not falter. The Lannisters have proven that they cannot be trusted."

"And so have you," came a new voice. Black Walder Frey pushed his way through the crowd to face the king. "You gave your word. I suppose the famous Stark honor died with Eddard. House Frey will not stand with this faithless little boy."

Once more, the hall was filled with angry voices arguing back and forth.

"Silence," the Greatjon roared. In the face of an angry Northern barbarian, even the most recalcitrant of the angry lords were cowed.

"Thank you, Lord Umber," the king said. "My Lords, while it is true that we are outnumbered, we have an advantage. Our enemy is still divided. We will rally our forces and strike quickly. Gather our armies and push west. We can take the fight to Tywin, and once he is destroyed, the others will fall as well. Between the forces that were left under the command of Lord Bolton, and the River forces, we can summon an army of some thirty thousand. This will be enough to destroy Tywin's forces, and end this war."

If Robb was hoping that his plan would encourage and inspire the Lords gathered here tonight, he was sadly mistaken. Nobles glanced uncomfortably around the room, not wanting to be the first to speak, but clearly not supporting the king. Even the Northern lords seemed skeptical of the plan.

"You've already lost one army in the west, and now you want to send another?" Someone called out from the back.

This opened the floodgates, and once more the arguments began. Now, however, it seemed to Edmure that there were fewer people supporting the king. Edmure could certainly understand that. He had tried his best to support Robb, and yet, the Stark lad had been quick to blame him when things went bad. What happened when this latest attack failed? Would Robb retreat up to the North (if such a thing was even possible, given the Ironborn invasion) and leave the Riverlands to burn? Should the Northern forces retake Moat Cailin, they would control the entrance to the North, making invasion almost impossible. But that would leave Edmure and his vassals to face the wrath of the Lannisters.

Despite his anger at the situation they faced, Edmure knew that denying the truth in front of them would bring nothing but disaster. And the truth was, they had lost the war. Before the Tyrells had joined the Lannisters, there had been hope. But with the reinforcements from the Reach, the forces loyal to Joffrey Hill far outnumbered those Robb could call upon. And with his homeland in ruins, the King in the North could not hope for any additional troops.

Even Robb's optimistic figure of thirty thousand troops was nowhere near enough to triumph over the hundred thousand that the Lannisters would be able to rally. If they surrendered, they would hopefully be spared the worst of the old Lion's anger. Anyone who had ever heard 'The Rains of Castamere' knew the danger that lay in that direction.

He turned his attention outwards, where the gathered Lords were still arguing.

Robb, it seemed, had had enough of the dissension. "You swore to serve me! You pledged to follow my orders as your King! And now, I call on you to obey your oaths!" he yelled.

"I never actually swore to serve you."

Everyone was startled at those words. Edmure was as shocked as anyone else, despite the fact that it was he who had spoken. He hadn't meant to say it, even though it was what he had been thinking. But as all eyes turned to look at the heir to the Riverlands, Edmure took a deep breath, and repeated his words.

"I never swore to serve you. Many lords called you king, and I was quick to congratulate you, but I never pledged to obey you," he reiterated, his voice surprisingly calm.

Once more, the hall filled with voices. Edmure was surprised, yet pleased to see that many of his fellow Riverland Lords were now speaking out in his defense. His nephew looked at him, shock and betrayal in his eyes, but Edmure refused to be swayed. He had a duty to his people to do what was best for them. And now that the words were out there, a sense of calm had come over the Tully knight, a conviction that this would indeed be the best course of action.

It would change everything. But Edmure truly believed that this was for the best.

* * *

A/N – not sure if I'm going to continue this one. I like the idea, though. Ever since I first read the books, I've always thought that Edmure got shafted multiple times. The most egregious, in my opinion, was how Robb responded to the Battle of the Fords. I know that many people have said that if Edmure had just followed Robb's plans, the Starks would have won. Complete poppycock, or balderdash, or whatever other word you want to use to describe an absolutely insane idea.

Robb had three real victories under his belt. The Battle of the Whispering Wood, where Jaime Lannister was **caught off guard**, allowing the numerically superior Northern forces to destroy his forces and take him captive. Then, there was the Battle at Riverrun, where the 12,000 Western soldiers were divided into camps, allowing the North to take them in bite-sized chunks, **catching each separate camp off guard**. And even then, one of the camps escapes completely, and reinforcements attacking out from Riverrun deal with the Lannister shield wall. And finally, the attack at Oxcross. Stafford Lannister had failed to post guards, and without any warning from the Golden Tooth (which Robb had managed to bypass by following a small trail through the mountains that Grey Wind had found) the Western forces were **caught off guard** when the Northmen attacked at night. Do you see a little pattern here? Robb does well at winning against numerically superior forces because he constantly attacks when and where his enemies don't expect it. But Tywin will be expecting an attack, and has many experienced commanders at his beck and call, people like Addam Marbrand, Lyle Crakehall, Flement Brax, Gregor Clegane and Tywin's brother, Kevan.

Brynden claims that because the majority of Tywin's forces are on foot, that the mounted Northern force (consisting of about 5,000 men) was going to "run Lord Tywin a merry chase up and down the coast". Brynden, apparently, forgets that Tywin doesn't need to keep his army all in one unit. The Lannisters at that point have about 7500 horsemen, which Tywin could dispatch to chase down the northern army while the slower infantrymen guard key positions such as mountain passes. And we need to keep in mind the fact that Robb's forces will be forced to forage for food along the way, with constant threat of attack from nearby keeps.

And it's not like 5,000 horses are terribly sneaky. Anybody who has ridden a horse in a group knows that horses leave behind very obvious signs that they've been there. According to Google, a 1000 lb horse will produce approximately 37 pounds of manure per day. That means Robb's army will be leaving more than 90 tons of manure along their path each day. There's no way to hide that from Tywin's scouts. With a numerically superior cavalry force chasing them, a numerically superior infantry force to block off key locations, and constantly having to forage for food, not to mention the 50,000 gallons of water that the horses would need each day, Robb's army would quickly get trapped and destroyed. All of the advantages are on Tywin's side. And if Robb's army ever gets pulled into a battle it would be disastrous. Even if they win, they'll be tired and have many wounded, but they won't be able to stop. Tywin, on the other hand, can call up additional forces, and get treatment for his wounded. Simply put, Robb got overconfident, and without Edmure pulling off a, quite frankly, brilliant defense at a strategically advantageous position, the northern force would have been annihilated. But Robb wanted someone to blame, so Edmure takes the fall.

That's not to say that Edmure was perfect. But given that the defense of the Riverlands isn't really his job with his father still alive, and without any warning of what Catelyn and Lysa were up to, he did his best. He certainly doesn't deserve to be blamed for things falling apart due to other people's failures.

Also, Littlefinger had already worked out the deal with the Tyrells. No input from Tywin needed. In fact, the Tyrells had already killed the Florents and anybody else who didn't want to support the alliance with the Lannisters. The Tyrells waited for Tywin at the Blackwater because the more Lannisters there are in the fight, the fewer Tyrells will die. It's the same logic they use for waiting for so long to join the fight. But they had already agreed to the alliance, so whether Tywin was there to join the Battle of the Blackwater or not, the outcome was already decided. Tywin's 16,000 men made no real difference compared to the Tyrell's 70,000.

If anybody disagrees with my views on the subject, please feel free to (politely) express your opinions in the comments. I'm always interested in getting other ideas and perspectives.


End file.
